Speed of Chocolate

I was looking for a bit of buy in, but Alex wasn’t about to cash out just yet.

“So you’re telling me that we can calculate the speed of light with a microwave and a candy bar?” Alex asked.

I nodded.  “That and a glass of water, a ruler and a calculator, isn’t that cool?” I asked.

Alex took two steps back, his arms waving in front of him.  “Oh no, that’s insane,” he said.

“Why are you freaking out?” I asked.  “It’s just an experiment.”

“I only have one more candy bar.  If I use it up no more chocolate for me till next week when mom goes to the store,” he responded.

“Just give me the chocolate and go get the ruler,” I said.  “We’re going to calculate the speed of light for goodness sakes.”

Alex reluctantly handed the chocolate bar to me.  “Are you sure this is going to work?” he asked.

“Of course,” I answered.  “It was on Facebook.  It has to be true.”  Alex seemed a bit more at ease now that the chocolate was out of his grasp.  I opened it up and took the chocolate out of its wrapper.  “Now go get the ruler,” I said.

Alex lumbered off and I set the rest of my experiment up.  I made sure to have the microwave closed by the time he got back.

Alex handed me the ruler.  “So what’s next?” he asked.

I paused for a minute, digesting my thoughts.  “You run the microwave for ten seconds.  I’ll be right back with the calculator that you forgot.” I said.

Alex got a little upset.  “You didn’t tell me you needed the calculator,” he said.

“You’re right,” I admitted.  “I’ll go get it.  Be right back.”

I ran to our room and went right past to the back door.  I let myself out quietly and was two steps away when I heard a scream.  I took off at a dead run, but Alex beat me to the gate to the front of the house.

“Where is my candy bar?” Alex screamed at me.

“It was in the microwave,” I said.

Alex shoved me to the ground.  “Uh-uh,” he said.  “That was just a glass of water.”

I tried to roll to my feet, but Alex pinned me to the ground.  He began to give me a noogie.  “Okay, okay, you win, that wasn’t your chocolate,” I said trying to defend myself.

Alex stopped for a moment.  “So where’s my chocolate?” he asked.

“It left at the speed of light,” I said.

“Speed of light?” Alex asked.

“Sure.  What happens to an object falling into a black hole?” I asked hoping he would fall for it.

“It speeds up till it is going at light speed,” Alex said smugly.  “I learned that watching YouTube.”

“Right.  You were paying attention,” I said as I wiggled a bit and he let me up.  I had only one shot at this.

“So what does that have to do with a microwave and a ruler and calculator?” Alex asked.

I leaned closer.  “You forgot the glass of water,” I said.

Alex pushed me out of his personal space.  I roll with it, taking a couple steps back.  “Who cares about the glass of stupid water.  How does that allow you to calculate the speed of light?” he asks.

“Simple.  By you doing all that, a small black hole appeared and sucked in the chocolate,” I said.

“Now you’re going to get beat,” Alex said stepping closer.  I took one step back, trying to maintain the same distance between us.

“No really,” I said.  “I can show you.”

Alex stopped and crossed his arms.  “Okay, you have one chance.  Show me.”

I took one more step back, opened my mouth wide, and pointed down my throat.  “See, right there is the black hole,” I said.

Before Alex could react I was off at full speed.  I was so glad I was a sprinter, or Alex would have shot putted me, and I might have seen light speed then since I am sure my lights would have gone out.

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