Putting two together was the desired goal of most people
And in some things, she would agree with them.
It didn’t apply to her socks. People always asked if her dryer ate one of them
Reality was she only bought singles since she usually got dressed in the dark.
It all came into focus suddenly
Reality was never going to be her playground
It was all she could do to not cackle as she downed her cup of Ayahuasca
Slowly her eyes dilated and she was home
Being sick is always sucky, especially when it’s your stomach and intestines
Listing there aimlessly, hoping for the internal torment to subside
And yet all you can do is moan and hope for a break in your condition
How many times can you count the bathroom tiles?
The color never seemed to matter to Jeff
If you wanted to make it fluorescent orange and lime green, he was cool with it
Nothing seemed to phase the man
That’s when I figured out the dude was extremely color blind
Focus was impossible in his current cerebral state
Obscuring mental mists drifted along his eerily muffled mind
Giving up he went to bed hoping the dawning sun would burn off the gloomy gray
Finding men talking about her curves all the time was quite tiresome
It made her wish they were a little less… conical
Geometrical arguments be what they may, the boys never added things up correctly
Underestimating her desire to derive their equations
Relying on a vanishingly small probability that she would be impressed by the results
Especially since their plots would undoubtedly be too small and dreadfully unenlightening
So they planned to divide the bounty equally once they opened this chest
Pirates they may be, but they didn’t try to screw each other over, usually
Lust for gold was tempered by what the others would do if they found out
It surprised them all when they opened the chest, and nothing was there.
That’s when the guns and swords came out…
Everything he heard was a gift ever since he received his hearing aids
And this coincided with his daughter having her first lesson for the French horn. How exciting!
Realized the next day, when she began to practice, that the off switch on them was a blessing as well.
Eveline felt the ground beneath her feet crumble
Removing what firm standing she had in this reality
Other worlds flashed before her falling eyes
Diminishing into dots as she sped by, but she thought she still heard her friends somehow
Everyone was concerned when Eveline went catatonic again. It was so tragic.
Filling his hotdog bun with condiments,
Randy showed his date his brilliant idea.
“As you can see, put all the stuff underneath, lubricating sides and bottom
Now you can’t drop anything out once you slip your wiener in,” he said.
“Know what? This date is over,” she replied as she stomped off.
She left him holding his meatless bun.