Donate (an acrostic conversation)

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Don’t give me some lame excuse this time.  Where is my money?”

Oh, my excuse isn’t lame at all.”

No?  Then what is it?”

All of my money was given to charity this afternoon.”

That doesn’t sound like you.  What charity was it?”

Extreme Gamer Intervention.  I bought all the Pokémon cards I could to stop them from doing so.”

Sample (an acrostic conversation)

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So I want to try it before I buy”

“As if! That’s not how this works, Honey.”

Maybe not usually, but I want to make sure I like it before my purchase.”

Please! Look. What is there not to like? I promise it will be mind-blowing.”

Let me just try it for a short little bit. You know they say the customer’s always right.”

Everyone’s a comedian. Instead of the job you asked for, why don’t you blow off!”

Stone (an acrostic conversation)

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Some heavy rocks you’ve got there.”

Thanks, I’ve been growing them all my life.”

Okay… growing rocks? Never heard of that.”

No kidding?  It’s all the rage.  Ever heard of Stonehenge?”

Everyone has… Wait, now that makes sense!”

Length (an acrostic conversation)

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“Look, it’s true what they say about… you know.”

“Except I don’t know. Please educate little ol’ me.”

“Not on your life! If you don’t know, well then all the better.”

“Good grief! Be a man and tell me.”

“That would be funny if it wasn’t so ironic.”

“How come? Telling me would be such a… small thing.”

Wart (an acrostic conversation)

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What’s that at the end of your nose?”

Ah, that’s a wee bit of nothin’.”

Really now? I think you might be one of them thar witches.”

That’s so stereotypical, you bigot. Keep that up and I’ll turn you into a newt!”

Strings (an acrostic conversation)

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Stuff like this yarn makes the entire universe.”

That is total bull and you know it!”

Really?  And what makes you such an expert, do you do physics?”

I know something much better than physics that tells me that’s a lie.”

Never going to believe you, but why don’t you tell me.”

Given that cats exist, and if the universe is made of yarn stuff, why haven’t cats unraveled everything?”

So you know what, you may be on to something.”

Chat (an acrostic conversation)

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Could you tell me about your day, but make sure it’s not something I care about.”

How about I expound about memes, but without me giving you the picture.”

Ah, that might work, but can you mention random people I don’t know for context?”

That would be peachy! Thank you for such a wonderful conversation.”

Quarter (an acrostic conversation)

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Questioning what I do will cost you more.”

Uh, why do you say that?”

As you waste my time asking me, the expert you hired, stupid questions, my price goes up.”

Reasonable, but that isn’t a good working relationship.”

This isn’t a coworker situation. We have an employer-employee situation.”

Except that always ends in a toxic work environment. We need to have a de-escalation training.”

Really? You think that? I quit! You can take your two bits and shove them!”

Note: two bits = 1 quarter

Harp (an acrostic conversation)

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How much do I hate you?  Let me count the ways.”

As if you can complain.  I’m the best thing for you.”

Really?  That’s about as offkey of a response as I can imagine.”

Perhaps, but I am secure in my knowledge that I know how to pull your strings.”

Prop (an acrostic conversation)

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“People are going to see right through this.”

“Really? All you need to do is smile and nod when talked to.”

“Others are going to think that’s weird behavior for a boyfriend.”

“People don’t care about you. I just need another bangle on my arm for decoration.”