Dated (an acrostic poem)

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Didn’t believe it would ever come to this

As if time was the greatest jerk of all the jerkiest jerks

The muscle pains, the worsening eyesight, the fading memory

Everything might not be that bad, if looked at in the right light, but…

Despite trying to remain hip, all my pop culture references are now flat and …

Crawl (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t believe that gross internet myth

Really?  You’ll eat a dozen spiders as you sleep over your lifetime?

And to disprove this point I set up a video camera to record me sleeping

Watching the video, and we can see here that…wait, four, five, what the!!!!!!

Love of all that is holy!  I’m going to be…