Black Hole (an acrostic poem)

Brenda stared at her code, dumbfounded

Looking for the bug that made it misbehave

And as luck would have it, she couldn’t find it

Clicking on her browser she opened the internet

Knowing it was a long shot that it held the answer

However, she found five ways to debug more efficiently

Obviously excited she clicked on the link

Leading her to another about foods to help you program better which lead to another

Eleven hours later she closed her browser since she didn’t remember what she went there for in the first place



Science! Bah Humbug! ( a 100 word babble)

I am synthesizing information in an attempt to immolate my brain cells, allowing me to warm my frozen thoughts about the subject, yet the thaw has yet to come.  I huddle in obscurity, surrounded by obscenities used, but not forgotten, built up to keep me from seeing my failure from the outside.

Still hope tries to grow inside though it hasn’t seen the light of inspiration or the nourishing rain of success in so long it might as well be on the dark side of the moon.  Should I just collapse this rhetoric into a black hole of consciousness?




Gravity (an acrostic poem)

Giving the topic the weight it deserved

Rob thought about how heavy this discussion was going to be

Acerbity left his mouth fowled

Veiled threats forced themselves into his thoughts

It put pressure on what he was about to do

To think his dignity was about be sucked into a black hole

Yet he still made the airplane noises to get John to eat is peas



An Awkward Proposition

Every family has a motto.  Mine is ‘It’s not murder if it’s family’.  It is right there on the family crest, written in the blood dripping from the crossed swords in front of a skull.  We really are pussycats, unless you cross one of our own, then well, you better find a black hole.  We won’t kill you per se, that is reserved for loved ones, but you will wish we had when we are done.  You don’t believe me?  Just ask Carlton Zebraski.  Oh, don’t know who that is?  Exactly!

Back to the family though.  Lately we have been taking our motto a bit too seriously, so there have been numerous positions opening up recently.  To that point, I’m looking to help the family business to expand.  I have decided to accept applications to join, and I was wondering if you were interested.  I guess what I am saying is will you marry me?

Speed of Chocolate

I was looking for a bit of buy in, but Alex wasn’t about to cash out just yet.

“So you’re telling me that we can calculate the speed of light with a microwave and a candy bar?” Alex asked.

I nodded.  “That and a glass of water, a ruler and a calculator, isn’t that cool?” I asked.

Alex took two steps back, his arms waving in front of him.  “Oh no, that’s insane,” he said.

“Why are you freaking out?” I asked.  “It’s just an experiment.”

“I only have one more candy bar.  If I use it up no more chocolate for me till next week when mom goes to the store,” he responded.

“Just give me the chocolate and go get the ruler,” I said.  “We’re going to calculate the speed of light for goodness sakes.”

Alex reluctantly handed the chocolate bar to me.  “Are you sure this is going to work?” he asked.

“Of course,” I answered.  “It was on Facebook.  It has to be true.”  Alex seemed a bit more at ease now that the chocolate was out of his grasp.  I opened it up and took the chocolate out of its wrapper.  “Now go get the ruler,” I said.

Alex lumbered off and I set the rest of my experiment up.  I made sure to have the microwave closed by the time he got back.

Alex handed me the ruler.  “So what’s next?” he asked.

I paused for a minute, digesting my thoughts.  “You run the microwave for ten seconds.  I’ll be right back with the calculator that you forgot.” I said.

Alex got a little upset.  “You didn’t tell me you needed the calculator,” he said.

“You’re right,” I admitted.  “I’ll go get it.  Be right back.”

I ran to our room and went right past to the back door.  I let myself out quietly and was two steps away when I heard a scream.  I took off at a dead run, but Alex beat me to the gate to the front of the house.

“Where is my candy bar?” Alex screamed at me.

“It was in the microwave,” I said.

Alex shoved me to the ground.  “Uh-uh,” he said.  “That was just a glass of water.”

I tried to roll to my feet, but Alex pinned me to the ground.  He began to give me a noogie.  “Okay, okay, you win, that wasn’t your chocolate,” I said trying to defend myself.

Alex stopped for a moment.  “So where’s my chocolate?” he asked.

“It left at the speed of light,” I said.

“Speed of light?” Alex asked.

“Sure.  What happens to an object falling into a black hole?” I asked hoping he would fall for it.

“It speeds up till it is going at light speed,” Alex said smugly.  “I learned that watching YouTube.”

“Right.  You were paying attention,” I said as I wiggled a bit and he let me up.  I had only one shot at this.

“So what does that have to do with a microwave and a ruler and calculator?” Alex asked.

I leaned closer.  “You forgot the glass of water,” I said.

Alex pushed me out of his personal space.  I roll with it, taking a couple steps back.  “Who cares about the glass of stupid water.  How does that allow you to calculate the speed of light?” he asks.

“Simple.  By you doing all that, a small black hole appeared and sucked in the chocolate,” I said.

“Now you’re going to get beat,” Alex said stepping closer.  I took one step back, trying to maintain the same distance between us.

“No really,” I said.  “I can show you.”

Alex stopped and crossed his arms.  “Okay, you have one chance.  Show me.”

I took one more step back, opened my mouth wide, and pointed down my throat.  “See, right there is the black hole,” I said.

Before Alex could react I was off at full speed.  I was so glad I was a sprinter, or Alex would have shot putted me, and I might have seen light speed then since I am sure my lights would have gone out.