Shift (an acrostic poem)

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So it was time to work, but he didn’t want to

How was he supposed to do this for the rest of his active life

If he waited until he could retire, he would be too old to do anything fun

F his boss and all the talk about work-life balance

The fact that he punched the timeclock and not his supervisor was a miracle

Silly (an acrostic poem)

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So a neutron goes into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?”  The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”

If your boss tells you to have a nice day, does that mean you can go home?

Looking for a bitter and sweet drink?  Try some Reali-tea.

Listen, singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a soap opera.

You know what, I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.

Script (an acrostic conversation)

 

So what is my line again?

Cut!  Take five everyone, except you.  Can’t you remember your line for five seconds?

Really.  I can get it, just throw me a bone.

I should just replace you with the gopher.  She knows the line.

Please!  Like you could.  I am an actor.  You are just… well what are you?

That would be your boss, and the person telling you you’re fired.

 

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Karma Conversation (a 200 word dialog)

“She’s the girl of my dreams.”

“You must be daft!  This is the girl who threw away your baseball card collection.”

“Yeah, she did do that.”

“And she was the one who made you get rid of your dog because she didn’t want the fur on her white carpet.”

“True.  She did do that.”

“She had to buy her Corvette which is why you that P.O.S. out in the parking lot.”

“P.O.S.?”

“Piece of”

“Ah, got it.  Yeah.  She does love that car.”

“And she stabbed you in the back by sleeping with your boss.  How can she be the girl of your dreams?”

“Oh, I meant nightmares.”

“Now that I can understand.  So tell me, why are you still with her?”

“I may have found the worst possible relationship, but that makes everything else seem so much better.  I can look at dropping out of college, working this crappy job, and realizing I’m not going to accomplish any of my childhood dreams and feel some sort of contentment.  It’s like I’m telling karma to go fuck off because I got this, so just hold my beer.”

“So let me see if I understand.  The sex is that good?”

“Yes.”

 

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