Tinkle (an acrostic poem)

The electric fence called to the two fraternity brothers

It was the ultimate way to cap a night of bad beer

Now they pulled out their hardware and dared the other to go first

Knowing that in the end they would have to do it together

Looking at the fence before closing their eyes, they counted to three and let loose

Eventually they both realized the fence was not charged.  Shocking!

 

Image: coloradospringsfencerepair.com/uploads/7/5/6/2/75628843/electric-fence-colorado-springs_orig.jpg

Impact (an acrostic poem)

I looked at the men in line in front of me

Men who had sacrificed so much to get to this moment

Perhaps you would call them heroes, but I call them brothers

As we walk out onto the field I secretly smile

Couldn’t ask for anything better

Than to watch and cheer for our daughters as they play their hearts out

 

Image: basebyprosacademy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/baseball-field-grass-turf.jpg

Speed of Chocolate

I was looking for a bit of buy in, but Alex wasn’t about to cash out just yet.

“So you’re telling me that we can calculate the speed of light with a microwave and a candy bar?” Alex asked.

I nodded.  “That and a glass of water, a ruler and a calculator, isn’t that cool?” I asked.

Alex took two steps back, his arms waving in front of him.  “Oh no, that’s insane,” he said.

“Why are you freaking out?” I asked.  “It’s just an experiment.”

“I only have one more candy bar.  If I use it up no more chocolate for me till next week when mom goes to the store,” he responded.

“Just give me the chocolate and go get the ruler,” I said.  “We’re going to calculate the speed of light for goodness sakes.”

Alex reluctantly handed the chocolate bar to me.  “Are you sure this is going to work?” he asked.

“Of course,” I answered.  “It was on Facebook.  It has to be true.”  Alex seemed a bit more at ease now that the chocolate was out of his grasp.  I opened it up and took the chocolate out of its wrapper.  “Now go get the ruler,” I said.

Alex lumbered off and I set the rest of my experiment up.  I made sure to have the microwave closed by the time he got back.

Alex handed me the ruler.  “So what’s next?” he asked.

I paused for a minute, digesting my thoughts.  “You run the microwave for ten seconds.  I’ll be right back with the calculator that you forgot.” I said.

Alex got a little upset.  “You didn’t tell me you needed the calculator,” he said.

“You’re right,” I admitted.  “I’ll go get it.  Be right back.”

I ran to our room and went right past to the back door.  I let myself out quietly and was two steps away when I heard a scream.  I took off at a dead run, but Alex beat me to the gate to the front of the house.

“Where is my candy bar?” Alex screamed at me.

“It was in the microwave,” I said.

Alex shoved me to the ground.  “Uh-uh,” he said.  “That was just a glass of water.”

I tried to roll to my feet, but Alex pinned me to the ground.  He began to give me a noogie.  “Okay, okay, you win, that wasn’t your chocolate,” I said trying to defend myself.

Alex stopped for a moment.  “So where’s my chocolate?” he asked.

“It left at the speed of light,” I said.

“Speed of light?” Alex asked.

“Sure.  What happens to an object falling into a black hole?” I asked hoping he would fall for it.

“It speeds up till it is going at light speed,” Alex said smugly.  “I learned that watching YouTube.”

“Right.  You were paying attention,” I said as I wiggled a bit and he let me up.  I had only one shot at this.

“So what does that have to do with a microwave and a ruler and calculator?” Alex asked.

I leaned closer.  “You forgot the glass of water,” I said.

Alex pushed me out of his personal space.  I roll with it, taking a couple steps back.  “Who cares about the glass of stupid water.  How does that allow you to calculate the speed of light?” he asks.

“Simple.  By you doing all that, a small black hole appeared and sucked in the chocolate,” I said.

“Now you’re going to get beat,” Alex said stepping closer.  I took one step back, trying to maintain the same distance between us.

“No really,” I said.  “I can show you.”

Alex stopped and crossed his arms.  “Okay, you have one chance.  Show me.”

I took one more step back, opened my mouth wide, and pointed down my throat.  “See, right there is the black hole,” I said.

Before Alex could react I was off at full speed.  I was so glad I was a sprinter, or Alex would have shot putted me, and I might have seen light speed then since I am sure my lights would have gone out.