Hacked (an acrostic conversation)

He’s just pretending he has all my info.

And what if he’s not?

Could be he really has my password.

Know what? Doesn’t matter.  You didn’t like digital life anyway

Everything you said is true, except when it comes to watching cat videos

Damn!  I forgot about those.  I’m sorry you were…

 

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The Price of Love

Hal looked at Petunia as he left the bathroom.  “My god, Petunia!  What the hell did you eat?”

Petunia barely looked up from her position on the couch.

“No really.  You blew up the bathroom and you didn’t even have the decency to even try to cover it up.”

Petunia closed her eyes and looked away.

“I mean, come on!”

Petunia still didn’t do anything.  Hal began to feel stupid for complaining.  “Look, I’m sorry.  It’s just been hard, and you know about a man and his throne.

Hal moved over to the couch to sit next to her, but Petunia got up and walked away.  “Why do you have to be that way?” he asked.

Petunia spared him the briefest of glances before turning away from him.

“Damn it, Petunia!  Come here.”  When she didn’t move Hal continued.  “Is this how you’re going to treat me?  You go out all night carousing, not coming home till the morning and you expect me to pretend nothing is wrong.  The bed gets awfully lonely you know.”

Petunia left the room.  Hal put his head in his hands.  “I put a roof over your head.”  He looked up from his hands at the door she had walked through.  “I put food on your plate.  I buy everything you have.  The least you can do is give me a little attention!”

Petunia came back into the room and cocked her head to the side.

Hal sighed.  “Fine.  I’ll feed you first.”  He got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, Petunia following in his wake.  He opened a can of tuna and put it on the floor.  When Petunia set in on her feast, Hal scratched between her ears, unlocking a deep purr from her.

Hal sunk to the floor next to her.  She hit him in the face with her tail.  “Cats,” he whispered with a small smile on his face.

 

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Allergic to Love

Chris stalked Jennifer carefully, not wanting to reveal his presence.  She was with that guy, Fred.  Chris wanted to claw Fred’s eyes out.  He just always rubbed Chris the wrong way.  Fred even had the nerve to lie about being allergic to Chris to keep Jennifer away.  The bad thing is she believed it and was now trying to meet with Fred secretly.  Well tonight Chris was going to ruin their little rendezvous.  If Jennifer didn’t know what was good for her then Chris would just cut the pretty boy’s face.  That would make Jennifer see the light.

As Chris crept closer, Fred began to sneeze.

Jennifer pulled back from Chris’ embrace.  “I showered and changed my clothes,” Jennifer said.

“It just started up,” Fred said, how voice cracking.  “It’s like…”

Chris couldn’t wait anymore.  He dashed out from underneath the bush and leapt at Fred, claws ready to kill, when Jennifer scooped him up in her arms.

“Bad kitty!” Jennifer said.   “How did you get out?”

Fred practically fell backward off the bench as he scrambled to his feet while sneezing at least ten times.  “Sorry, got to go,” he blurted out as he fled the backyard.

Jennifer looked the cat in the eye with a hint of malice lurking there, but Chris began to purr.  Jennifer shook her head in disbelief, but then began to pet him.  “I don’t know what I am going to do with you.”

Just keep doing what you’re doing, thought Chris.