So a neutron goes into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?” The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
If your boss tells you to have a nice day, does that mean you can go home?
Looking for a bitter and sweet drink? Try some Reali-tea.
Listen, singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a soap opera.
You know what, I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
Scrunching up her face in reaction to sipping the drink
Obviously, it was much tarter than what she was expecting
Uttering a sharp laugh, her partner handed her a sugar cube as an apology
Refusing the cube, she gave it another sip. It was better this way.
Cider so hard you need a hammer and chisel to drink it
Resulting in puckered lips that would make an Instagram influencer jealous
It leaves an impression on the consumer’s soul
Searing the memory of that tree, that branch, that fruit, that moment
Permanently into your psyche
So do you believe in the magic that surrounds you?
Pushing the fantastical into the factual
Enabling imagination to define reality
Letting wonder bloom in the field of drab predictability
Let’s drink deep of this fever dream and cast our fancy into the world
Can’t make it hot enough to please him
He scarfs down whole scotch bonnets for breakfast
I even saw him puree ghost peppers and drink it as a smoothie
Last Superbowl was the topper. The con carne concoction he brought was pure chemical warfare
Leaving us all to stare in awe and fear as he ate the whole thing without a single sniffle
It did come to no surprise that his intestines eventually got their revenge for his war crimes.
Cold pressed apple fluids left outside in a large jug
In the dead of winter the water freezes on top
Driving the flavor into a more concentrated solution below
Each time the blah ice is then removed and the process repeats over and over for months
Rewarded finally with a fermented drink that tasted of sunny autumn days and patience
Cognac on the rocks was her drink of choice
Until about three in the morning, then she would bounce to bourbon
Both ice cold, just like the blood in her veins
Especially as she tossed the dice one last time with everything on the line.
Come join our club, we have all the truth
Unless you challenge what we are selling
Let’s just say you’ve got to drink the Kool Aid
Then do what you are told. We know better. Or else.
Hanging in the breeze without a care in the world.
As my drink perspires from all the hard work we are doing,
My mind wanders the cosmos.
Making connections that James Burke would be proud of. (Look him up.)
Only the rustling of leaves and birds doing actual tweets break the reverie.
Can this solace last forever?
Kidding. Child number two flops onto me, dumping us both onto the ground.
Waves lapped along the shoreline
Reviving Jerod and giving him a shower he desperately needed
Everything must have gone so wrong
Collecting his thoughts he realized he couldn’t remember the night before
Kneeling, he looked around him, trying to jog something loose
Everything suddenly came back. He couldn’t believe he was so stupid
Don’t drink a whole bottle of scotch you dumbass