Drunk (an acrostic poem)

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Didn’t have hardly a sip of whiskey

Really laid off blasting through the margaritas

Ugly number of Jagermeister shots were avoided

No domestic beers were consumed

Know your limits! Too bad he drank all the rest…

Drunk (an acrostic poem)

Downing yet another shot of Jägermeister

Rich felt it hit him right between the eyes

Under normal circumstances, this is where he would stop

Not tonight though, not after she had left him

Knowing it was because he had slept with her best friend, well that didn’t help


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Spin the Bottle (a 50 word story)

Empty beer bottles spun, mesmerizing Freda.  She wondered if there was some sort of astrological significance to their motions as they all slowed down and stopped pointing in different directions.  She laughed, thinking how that used to signify who to kiss.  Now it just signified how absolutely drunk she was.


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A Major Relevation

Mason put down the magazine article and looked over at Brenda.  “I can’t believe we are ranked number one in crimes per student committed.  How am I supposed to tell prospective students that Alamata University is a safe place to be.  More importantly how are we going to convince their parents?” Mason said.

Brenda took off her glasses and sucked on one of the ear loops for a moment.  Her eyes lit up and the glasses came out of her mouth.  “I know.  We can claim we started a top secret new major.”

Mason looked skeptical.  “What major would that be?” he asked.

“Super villain,” Brenda said.

Mason shook his head.  “And how is that supposed to help our reputation?” he asked.

Brenda beamed.  “Simple,” she said, “We can use it to bring in new criminal justice majors.  They can get practice against the villains of tomorrow.”

Mason paused, thinking about what Brenda said.  “I like it, but why would we start up a super villain major in the first place?”

“Everyone will know the answer to that one,” Brenda said.  “We tell them we have an accelerated MBA program.  Right now for most people super villain and CEO are pretty much synonymous.”

Mason nodded.  “Okay, I can see that, but what happens if we do get applicants for this super villain program?” he asked.

Brenda was stumped.  Two times she was about to speak, but thought better of it.  After the third time she tried to come up with an answer Mason blurted, “We just start one up.  We have so much crime here anyhow no one would notice a small uptick.  Besides, we can up our tuition rates for the major to cover the extra lawyer fees.”

Brenda slapped her hand on the desk.  “You are brilliant, Mason.  We should get to work on that right away,” she said.

“We will,” Mason said, “as soon as we come up with a secret handshake, because you can’t have a secret cabal without a secret handshake.”

As the two of them worked on the secret handshake, one dorm burst into flames after being crashed into by a car driven by a drunk sophomore who was carrying a 2.1 GPA.