Mini (an acrostic poem)

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Maximizing his profits caused him to find savings everywhere

If it could be downsized, he would do it.  Single-ply toilet paper, cold cuts instead of a sub sandwich

Never paying for a hotel room, but instead opting for an overnight parking garage

It wasn’t so bad, but he was a six-foot-eight-inch dude who drove a …

Tint (an acrostic poem)

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The color never seemed to matter to Jeff

If you wanted to make it fluorescent orange and lime green, he was cool with it

Nothing seemed to phase the man

That’s when I figured out the dude was extremely color blind

Holy (an acrostic poem)

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He wanted to be a pious sort of dude

Only he didn’t feel like he was good at it

Living life as best as he could by respecting others

Yearning that they would just do the same

Skill (an acrostic conversation)

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“So cool that you know how to play the guitar.”

“Kind of you to say, but I’m the drummer, remember?”

“I know. That’s why we supposedly brought you into the band.”

“Let me get this straight., were you being sarcastic?”

“Lots of love, dude, but call us back when you can count to four.”

Fruits (an acrostic conversation)

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“Focus on the cornucopia of sweetness in front of you”

“Really dude?  It’s like oranges, bananas, and like coconuts.”

“Unless you learn to see the totality of sweet vitamins and minerals you will be lost in carbs”

“Isn’t that stuff loaded with carbs?  Like, that’s why it’s sweet, dude.”

“That may be true.  Can I interest you in a zucchini?”

“Stay far away from me with that thing.  You might poke an eye out.”

Tail (an acrostic poem)

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That means Ariel wanted to meet a dude so bad that she took the first deal she got

And to get legs she had to give up being able to talk?

I don’t care how hot he looks or how rich he is I’m not going to give up anything

Look, I’m only eight, but I know better than that!  Let him go out and get his own …

Swift (an acrostic poem)

Section A, row 4, seat 23

What should have been awesome seats for the concert

It ended up being totally blocked by this seven foot tall dude

Florence thought this would be the worst

Three weeks later the dude and her were happily married ever after

 

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