Yule (an acrostic inspiration?)

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You need to take your Christmas to the next level!

Unlock twelve days mode and watch you become a Christmas Boss!

Live your life like a red velvet-wearing, elf-loving, snow-sleighing, present-slinging demigod!

Extra added value of supersizing your Christmasing… all the cookies you can eat!

Snack (an acrostic poem)

So what if he was hungry?

No one cared, no matter how much he bitched and moaned

And yet he expected her to do something about it

Couldn’t he tell she was hungry as well, and when she was hungry she became a monster.

Kettle was soon bubbling, releasing yummy smells into the air.  She was gonna eat well tonight, she was!

Base (an acrostic poem)

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Being such an acerbic person

Allowed him to eat through most of the resistance he encountered

So it surprised him when she neutralized him so easily

Eventually, he found out the reason was she was caustic

Plead (an acrostic poem)

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Perhaps there is another way to do this

Let me give you something as a reward for making this happen

Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

And what if it was your mother who was in my situation?

Don’t make me eat pineapple on my pizza! I ordered it by mistake!

(FYI I love pineapple on my pizza.)

Kiwi (an acrostic poem)

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Keeping with the weird down under thing

In comes a fruit with hair that tastes kind of like a strawberry with a tropical twist

With a skin that could use a bit of a shave, while that isn’t too freaky

It was the fact you can eat the hairy part that made me shudder

Wheat (an acrostic poem)

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While being gluten free was not the lifestyle she wanted

Her choices were that or get sick as her body destroyed itself

Eventually she would get used to the changes in her diet

And find awesome alternatives to those things she loved to eat

The smell of fresh baked bread would always bring a tear to her eye

Crawl (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t believe that gross internet myth

Really?  You’ll eat a dozen spiders as you sleep over your lifetime?

And to disprove this point I set up a video camera to record me sleeping

Watching the video, and we can see here that…wait, four, five, what the!!!!!!

Love of all that is holy!  I’m going to be…