Base (an acrostic poem)

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Being such an acerbic person

Allowed him to eat through most of the resistance he encountered

So it surprised him when she neutralized him so easily

Eventually, he found out the reason was she was caustic

Plead (an acrostic poem)

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Perhaps there is another way to do this

Let me give you something as a reward for making this happen

Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

And what if it was your mother who was in my situation?

Don’t make me eat pineapple on my pizza! I ordered it by mistake!

(FYI I love pineapple on my pizza.)

Cook (an acrostic poem)

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Can you make me something to eat?

Only I need it to be dairy free, soy free, and gluten free

Oh, and I can’t have coconut or almond

Know what, I will stick to a glass of water.

Kiwi (an acrostic poem)

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Keeping with the weird down under thing

In comes a fruit with hair that tastes kind of like a strawberry with a tropical twist

With a skin that could use a bit of a shave, while that isn’t too freaky

It was the fact you can eat the hairy part that made me shudder

Diet (an acrostic poem)

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Don’t tell me what to eat.

I listen to what my body needs.

Everything in there is a well-oiled machine.

That’s the reason I consume all the French fries I can.

Eat (an acrostic conversation)

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“Exactly what do you want for dinner?”

“Anything that is edible.”

“That means you don’t want me to cook.”

Wheat (an acrostic poem)

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While being gluten free was not the lifestyle she wanted

Her choices were that or get sick as her body destroyed itself

Eventually she would get used to the changes in her diet

And find awesome alternatives to those things she loved to eat

The smell of fresh baked bread would always bring a tear to her eye

Crawl (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t believe that gross internet myth

Really?  You’ll eat a dozen spiders as you sleep over your lifetime?

And to disprove this point I set up a video camera to record me sleeping

Watching the video, and we can see here that…wait, four, five, what the!!!!!!

Love of all that is holy!  I’m going to be…

Jungle (an acrostic poem)

 

.Justice in this place seems to be defined by who can eat whom

Under the veneer of what some call civilization

Now I know how to fight to get what is mine

Given that we could just clearcut this place and set up something better

Looks like we are stuck in this humid hell at each other’s throats

Even as we all sing, “Welcome to the …”

 

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Pi Day (an acrostic poem)

Perhaps being irrational is just my style

I keep going around and around

 

Didn’t stop slicing it into pieces

As I stuff as much into my face

You mean it’s a number?  Eat my shorts!

 

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