Image: By Sicnag – 1964 Oldsmobile 442 2 door Hardtop, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=45448417
Machine magician, doctor of octane studies, wrench whisperer
Every one of those titles match well with her engine grease pedicure
Changing the blown out head gasket of an Oldsmobile 442
Her wizardry breathed life back into that smoke belching dragon
And by the end it bent to her will, purring with all eight cylinders
Now ready to consume as much blacktop and gasoline as could be reached by the tip of the pedal
It was the masterful application of her sorcery and to celebrate its completion she pushed her mount to the max
Causing twin black streaks as evidence of her passing as she rode the beast into the distance
I see you haven’t been paying attention to me.
Give me a break. I always pay attention to you.
No, you’re not. I can prove it.
Okay Ms. Smarty Pants, present your evidence.
Randy, you just told me I could paint a mural on your truck.
Evidently you didn’t know I was secretly hoping you would.
Dumbass, I actually asked you to pass the chips!
The breadth of her knowledge was tremendous, but
How could she not know something as simple and basic as this?
I approached her, my evidence in hand
Capturing her attention, I began to lay out my arguments
Kept at it even when I realized maybe I had done something stupid
To most people it would be just a couple of data points
Randi didn’t think so. She saw a promise
Each point represented a better life
Now she had evidence that her business was going to grow
Despite the fact she only made five dollars of profit so far