She smelled easy money in the air
Everyone was all beer, pizza, and Buffalo winged out.
Now she felt it was time for her to execute her plan while they were in the drunken gluttony afterglow
So fellas, listen up. What do you say we have a little side wager on the game?
Everyone agreed. Two hours later she was seen five hundred dollars richer
Feasting on some tasty thigh meat
Ernie thought this celebration during Yuletide was the best
As there were so many yummy dishes to choose from
The more unusual the better, of course, to a gastronome like himself
It was for this particular moment that he wrote that silly repetitious song so long ago
Vivid imagery that was in the song focused on each of the dozen dishes that he now partook
And it always made him laugh when he crossed the Veil and heard one of the meat sacks sing it
Lifting another hunk of milkmaid on top of his piece drummer, he hummed “five golden rings…”
Giving those diabolical miniature flakes of metal in their prison
Little shakes with an evil grin on my face
If you hadn’t had crossed the line it wouldn’t have come to this
The trap set, I just sit back with the airhorn and count down
Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. The horn screams through the night
Resulting in you throwing off your covers, releasing the pile of sparkle into your entire everything.
The mark denoted a change in status.
It meant that one more thing was off the list.
Culling one more bit of weight from his soul.
Knowing that tomorrow the boss would just add five more.
Yearning to wear soft cashmere sweaters
Asking others to make them for me seems silly since I could make one
Reaching for my knitting needles I start my first stitch
Now after five hours, and not getting past stitch three, I pick up the phone and call…
Finding it amusingly ironic
If you really think about it
Value signifies a quintuple of things
Except the word only has four letters
Looking at the time I cringe
At best I will get six hours of sleep
That will probably be closer to five
Even though that will suck, I figured out how to turn on the light!