Crass (an acrostic poem)

Cutting language rained down from the stands

Reaching Stephan’s ears, but he let it drip off his back

All that mattered was that he had just scored

Stupid fans.  They were so in the dark about his greatness.

So he showed them a full moon in appreciation



Pumpkin (an acrostic poem)

Pushing his horse to go faster, Jon peered through the fog

Under the full moon, the fog formed a concealing haze

Muttering under his breath, Jon was forced to slow down

Pelting his head on a branch wouldn’t be much better than getting caught

Killed was killed, no matter which way his head crumbled

It began to clear and Jon could see the old school house.  He was almost home

Nathan found Jon’s remains mingled with those of an orange squash on the school’s wall


The sky was dark and the full moon hadn’t peaked over the horizon yet.  Harvey kept waiting for Janet to get home.  She was late and Harvey needed out of his cage so badly.  He paced the space over and over: four steps, then three, then four, then three.  The time was coming, and if he didn’t get out he was just going to explode.  When was Janet going to come home and get him out?  She wouldn’t want to have him loose it here in her bedroom.  Harvey let out a small whimper.  He could feel a tremor in his legs.  Pretty soon he was going to have to let go, and that wasn’t going to be pretty.

Just then twin lights speared the bedroom windows, illuminated the ceiling.  Harvey yet out a yowl that had almost sounded like help.  The garage door began to open at the same time as the moon started to peak over the horizon.  Harvey could hear Janet running through the house.  She burst through the door, her blonde hair trailing behind her.   Harvey yowled a hello.

“Hurry,” she said in a very husky voice.

Janet opened the cage and Harvey bound out the way Janet came in.  He had to go outside and do his business so badly.  He made it out of the garage and into the sheltered backyard.  Janet raced after him, ditching clothing as she did so.

The moon finally leapt over the horizon and Harvey couldn’t hold it any longer.  His limbs elongated and he shifted to stand on his back legs.  His nose contracted, his eyes blinked and became the bluest blue.  Soon the transformation was complete.  He was naked and human once again.

Something furry rubbed against his leg.  He reached down and scratched Janet behind her ear.  She growled and bit at his hand.  “What’s wrong my love?” he asked.  Looking down at her golden fur, Harvey noticed that Janet hadn’t gotten her bra completely unhooked before her transformation.  He undid it and gave her a hug, nuzzling into her fur.  “Baby, this werewolf, wolfwere thing makes our relationship tough at times.  Janet whimpered.  Harvey gave her another hug.  “But at least we have each other.”

Vehicular Foreplay

Bernadette glanced quickly at Joel and let lose a loud and vicious howl.  Even with such a quick glance she could see he was more than a little freaked out.  It could be because she had just told him she had always wanted to be a werewolf so when girls called her bitch she could say, ‘Yeah, so?’.  Or it could be because she was driving his Mustang at over one hundred ten miles per hour, at night with a full moon, with the lights off.  Of course since they lived in East Bumblefuck, Nebraska, the road went straight until you hit the Kansas border, and maybe even until the Mississippi River for all she knew.  Bernadette had barely been more than a hundred miles from her house.

“Do you think we should be going so fast?” asked Joel.  His voice cracked midway through the sentence as he tried to put a brave front on.

Bernadette loved that crack.  It was one of those things she loved about Joel.  That and this car, and the fact that by wearing her skirt just a bit above the knee allowed her driving privileges.  Pushing the envelope gave her a tingle down her spine.  Bernadette was so happy she punched the Mustang’s acceleration a bit more.  “This car was made to move like this.” she purred in tune with the engine.  She wished they had the windows down, allowing her black hair to race the incoming wind.

The car and Bernadette might have been made for this, but it pushed Joel over his limit.  “At least turn on the lights Bernadette.  I don’t want to have to wait six months to get out of the hospital before we get to make out,” he said.  This time there was no cracking.

“Just a bit more,” Bernadette said.  “I’m getting so turned on.”

Joel tried to reach across Bernadette for the headlight switch.  Bernadette let go of one hand from the steering wheel to push his hand down on her exposed knee.  This caused the car to swerve, but Bernadette smoothly squashed the mistake and brought it back.  “Feel that excitement?” she asked.

Joel didn’t respond.  Another quick glance showed Bernadette that he was focused on his hand on her knee.  She smiled and gave it a bit more gas.

Slowly she felt Joel’s hand drift up higher.    When he was about mid-thigh Bernadette slammed on the breaks, bringing the back end of the car around twice before ending in the opposite lane, pointing back in the direction they had been traveling.  It had the added advantage of flinging Joel’s hand back to himself.  She angrily turned on the headlights

“Jesus Bernadette,” Joel squeaked.  “What the hell did you do that for?”

“I’m not that kind of girl Joel White!” Bernadette said getting out of the car and slamming the door.  She crossed in front of the headlights, slowing to give him a good look of her short skirt, white blouse that was almost translucent in the bright light, giving hints of the lace underneath.  She paused at the passenger side door for Joel to open it.

“What are you doing now?” Joel asked.

Bernadette folded her arms.  “You are going to drive me home this instant.  You think I am some easy girl?  Now you’ll have to go home and stick it in some ice for all I care,” she said.

Joel looked at her dumbfounded.  Bernadette waited him out.  Finally Joel said, “I’m sorry.  It’s just I was getting excited too.”

Bernadette gleamed.  “Really, you mean it?” she asked.

Joel looked down at his hand that had moments ago had been halfway up her skirt.  “Yeah.  I’m sorry.  Really I’m-”

Bernadette kissed him, taking his apology away and thrusting hope back in with her tongue.  As she pulled slowly away Joel was left panting for air.

“So you want to see how long it takes for us to get to Kansas?” she asked.

“With you driving?  About fifteen minutes,” Joel said.

Bernadette clapped her hands and skipped around the car, back to the driver’s side.  She leaned in and smiled at Joel.  “Are you sure?” she asked.

Joel let loose a wolf howl that made the hairs on the back of Bernadette’s neck stand on end.  “Why the hell not?  We’re seventeen.  We’re supposed to make stupid mistakes,” he said.

Bernadette slid into the driver’s seat, not adjusting her skirt, leaving it where it had ridden up.  “Then it’s time for some fun,” she purred.

“Just leave the headlights on,” Joel pleaded.

Bernadette was about to say something, but Joel placed his hand on her bare knee and pushed down a bit.  She went with the motion and put the gas down hard and brought the car around in a one eighty and launched the Mustang onward.  “Anything you want, Joel, anything you want,” she said.

“Really?” he asked as his hand drifted upward once again.

Bernadette let off the gas letting him know he had gone high enough.  Once he stopped she punched it again.  “To a point Joel White, to a point,” she said.  “Kansas here we come.”