Fruit (an acrostic poem)

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Focus on the holy tomato

Rejoice in its versatility

Understand where it sits among the pantheon

It makes up more the 50% of the condiment

Therefore salsa is a type of blessed savory marmalade

Collar (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t stand having something around my neck

Only I don’t get much choice in this gig

Living for the church was not going to be my style

Living dead come into the equation

And I had to sign up, so now I’m a holy man

Relax baby, I only baptize with a shotgun and cross with my saber

Crawl (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t believe that gross internet myth

Really?  You’ll eat a dozen spiders as you sleep over your lifetime?

And to disprove this point I set up a video camera to record me sleeping

Watching the video, and we can see here that…wait, four, five, what the!!!!!!

Love of all that is holy!  I’m going to be…