Crawl (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t believe that gross internet myth

Really?  You’ll eat a dozen spiders as you sleep over your lifetime?

And to disprove this point I set up a video camera to record me sleeping

Watching the video, and we can see here that…wait, four, five, what the!!!!!!

Love of all that is holy!  I’m going to be…

Crew (an acrostic poem)

Corey raised his beer in salute

Reese laughed and tilted his seltzer

Eunice lifted her tequila shot

What they did next would break the internet

 

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Black Hole (an acrostic poem)

Brenda stared at her code, dumbfounded

Looking for the bug that made it misbehave

And as luck would have it, she couldn’t find it

Clicking on her browser she opened the internet

Knowing it was a long shot that it held the answer

However, she found five ways to debug more efficiently

Obviously excited she clicked on the link

Leading her to another about foods to help you program better which lead to another

Eleven hours later she closed her browser since she didn’t remember what she went there for in the first place

 

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Stutter (an acrostic poem)

Stammering for attention in this internet age

Tasked with giving birth to a meme or a viral video

Until you realize that virus must be incubated in your blood, sweat, and tears

Two a.m. and still nothing to unleash on YouTube or Pintrest

Terrified that creativity has decided to leave you for that cute red head at Starbucks

Even though you have picture of creativity and a goat doing creative things

Realizing that goat was your meal ticket you wait your accolades, or did you…

A Time Suck (a 100 word thingee)

The suction turned on high and I watched all my extra time begin to go into the infernal device.  I was dumbfounded and didn’t recover before all of that glorious free time I’ve collected disappeared down the machine’s ever hungry spout.  It began to suck in my carefully dosed out family time.  I dove for whatever time I could, fighting the evil machine’s pull.  My hands were only so big and I watched more and more of my time gobbled by that infernal machine.  I looked for the off switch, but for some reason the internet doesn’t have one.  Damn!