So a neutron goes into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?” The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
If your boss tells you to have a nice day, does that mean you can go home?
Looking for a bitter and sweet drink? Try some Reali-tea.
Listen, singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a soap opera.
You know what, I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
She smelled easy money in the air
Everyone was all beer, pizza, and Buffalo winged out.
Now she felt it was time for her to execute her plan while they were in the drunken gluttony afterglow
So fellas, listen up. What do you say we have a little side wager on the game?
Everyone agreed. Two hours later she was seen five hundred dollars richer
Digits scattered around in a ritualistic circle
It spun and clicked as it began its spell
And soon there were disembodied voices talking from the other side
Listen close and you might hear grandma
“So I heard you are looking for a thing.”
“Everyone is looking for a thing. Can you be more specific?”
“Listen, if I tell you more the price is going to quadruple. So what do you say?”
“Let me think about it.”
Boy could those men tell you stories amid the smell of talc and aftershave
About times in the past that people have forgotten
Remembering with such clarity the neighborhood throughout time
Because they had been there for a combined hundred-sixty years
Everyone came there to sit in those ancient green chairs and listen raptly
Relishing their experience with those historians. The haircuts weren’t too bad either.
Didn’t see that old woman coming
Even after she told me I had to do it
Still I tried to fight her prophecy
Too bad I just didn’t listen
I ended up going further down such a painful path
Now I was finally doing what I was told to do
You would think Mom would finally cut me a break