Someone once said that even the villain is the hero of their own story. Yeah, that’s a bunch of…
Sorry. I’m not usually that crass. I prefer to be in control. Total control. That’s why I am leaving this recording. I don’t want myopic historians researching me to think I was lucky or a bumbling opportunist. This will be the witness to my greatness, especially since no one else is capable of fully comprehending what I am about to do without me helping by giving you this simplified commentary. Sit back and marvel at the mind of an unmitigated genius.
Gary opened the new deck of cards and enjoyed the feel of the linen finish. Eight riffle shuffles or so later he fanned the cards back out and noticed all the suits were still in order. Gary laughed at his luck and began shuffling again. Once again after doing about eight shuffles he looked, and the deck was still in order. Gary couldn’t believe this. He tried a third time, with the same result. He began to think somehow time was on repeat. He began planning how he could use his new found skill.
He did a Google search on the odds of this happening. It was one out of ten to the sixty-eighth power. That was as many atoms as there are in the known universe. Gary was so excited. He was a unicorn, a magical leprechaun, a force of nature. He then kept reading. There have been many cases of this happening, especially if you suck at shuffling.
Gary put the cards away and picked up a pair of dice. He always enjoyed playing with dice anyway. He rolled them three times and rolled double sizes each time. He threw the dice in the trash and walked away.