“Don’t ask her her age. That would be so rude!”
“As if. This is a new age, old man. Age is just a number now.”
“That’s a bunch of bull, and you know it. Ask it and be relegated to the dustbin of relationship history.”
“Everything you say tells the universe how old you are. What was it like to ride a triceratops?”
“Don’t worry. You’ll get to see for yourself when she slaps you so hard she sends you back in time.”
The color never seemed to matter to Jeff
If you wanted to make it fluorescent orange and lime green, he was cool with it
Nothing seemed to phase the man
That’s when I figured out the dude was extremely color blind
He slowly walked up the mountain
It was going to change his life
Knowing he could finally get that question answered
Except there was a wise guy and not wise man at the top
Every thrust of his hips was planned to showcase his nature
Leaving girls and women screaming at the top of their lungs
Vexing the men that had accompanied them, secretly jealous of his powers
It was a coming of age for an entire generation
Summarized in a single man, an icon, a legend
“Look, it’s true what they say about… you know.”
“Except I don’t know. Please educate little ol’ me.”
“Not on your life! If you don’t know, well then all the better.”
“Good grief! Be a man and tell me.”
“That would be funny if it wasn’t so ironic.”
“How come? Telling me would be such a… small thing.”
Prying back her man’s rough outer layer
Exposed the fact that he was surprisingly human
Except she didn’t want to believe that
Lifting his freshly stilled heart out of the way, she continued to look for essence of monster
Supernova hatred exploded from Jim.
The waves of revulsion swept over Andy, knocking him back a step.
Andy worried about what was left of the man who used to be his best friend.
Realizing that now a black hole was where Jim’s heart used to be.
Can’t stand having something around my neck
Only I don’t get much choice in this gig
Living for the church was not going to be my style
Living dead come into the equation
And I had to sign up, so now I’m a holy man
Relax baby, I only baptize with a shotgun and cross with my saber
Clothing makes the man they say
Or in his case, they allowed him to blend in
So that the prey around him didn’t recognize predator in their midst
Though they would be nervous as if they could see through his disguise
Undercover he enjoyed taking his time
Meticulously picking his next victim
Enjoying the chaos he left in his wake
Pass that pitcher, my man
Oh no, my friend. This one is mine.
Utterly impossible. You are the next round.
Really? (Laps up some of the beer.) Want some now?