Silly (an acrostic poem)

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So a neutron goes into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?”  The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”

If your boss tells you to have a nice day, does that mean you can go home?

Looking for a bitter and sweet drink?  Try some Reali-tea.

Listen, singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a soap opera.

You know what, I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.

Valentine’s Day Special (a 100 word story)

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Bob pruned his dying orchid while contemplating Valentine’s Day.  He hated the “holiday” with more passion than he felt about any relationship he had ever been in.  The only redeeming quality was the reduced-price chocolates the next day.  He popped one such morsel in his mouth as he moved to the next morbid plant, one given to him by his ex.  That’s when he had an epiphany!  He knew how to make Valentine’s Day special for everyone.  The following year he made ten thousand dollars selling dead flowers and bouquets to people who wanted that special something… for their ex.

Coffee (an acrostic poem)

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Cup of her liquid wakeup was held close to her nose

Olfactory sensors lit up her brain with anticipation

Followed with her stomach preparing for the scalding acidic onslaught

Fluid of the darkest black splashed and sloshed along her tongue

Everything in her mouth screamed as the heat seared her taste buds

Except she considered that her wakeup alarm symphony.  The day could now begin.

Pick (an acrostic poem)

Putting her money where her mouth is was always difficult

It seemed easier to not think and go with her heart in those circumstances

Casting the dice down the green felted table, she closed her eyes

Knowing that whatever happened, her life was going to be changed forever

Yawn (an acrostic poem)

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You bore me like no other person

And it’s amazing I can stay awake when we are in the same room

When you open your mouth, my mind shuts off immediately

Now if you weren’t my physics professor, I wouldn’t care…

Tart x2 (an acrostic poem)

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The fact that she flirted so hard but kept him away was so attractive

And at the same time was so frustrating in so many ways

Rachel just needed to get over herself and give in

That and he needed to get his sister to leave the two of them alone

The bitter taste Rachel had in her mouth made her lips pucker

As he made an ass of himself yet again

Really she knew she couldn’t stand to be around the idiot, but she had to put up with him

The fact that his sister was so hot made it worth putting up with the frustration…

Crispy (an acrostic poem)

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Crunching on this piece of Nashville hot fried chicken

Relishing in the heat and texture dancing in my mouth

It is a spiritual experience to be sure

So much noise and so much spice

Perhaps I should have gotten that milkshake after all

Yeppers, as my mouth begins to erupt, yes, I should have

Float (an acrostic poem)

 

Falling below the surface of the water

Looking back at the border between the liquid and gaseous states

Opening my mouth, bubbles race away to freedom

As I continue to sink deeper

There I found my value of buoyancy

 

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