Crass (an acrostic poem)

Image: fontsfree.net/assets/preview/20672-big-thumbs3-download-v1.png

Can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all?

Realize this is the biggest lie you have been fed all your life.

As if your opinion should be mitigated by some sort of empathy filter.

So you shouldn’t call out the stupidity slapping you in the face?

Shut up and sit down on that iron pole over there if you disagree.

Quarter (an acrostic conversation)

Image: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/70/2021-P_US_Quarter_Obverse.jpg

Questioning what I do will cost you more.”

Uh, why do you say that?”

As you waste my time asking me, the expert you hired, stupid questions, my price goes up.”

Reasonable, but that isn’t a good working relationship.”

This isn’t a coworker situation. We have an employer-employee situation.”

Except that always ends in a toxic work environment. We need to have a de-escalation training.”

Really? You think that? I quit! You can take your two bits and shove them!”

Note: two bits = 1 quarter

Sense (an acrostic poem)

Image: dinneratthezoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/baked-buffalo-wings-11.jpg

She smelled easy money in the air

Everyone was all beer, pizza, and Buffalo winged out.

Now she felt it was time for her to execute her plan while they were in the drunken gluttony afterglow

So fellas, listen up. What do you say we have a little side wager on the game?

Everyone agreed. Two hours later she was seen five hundred dollars richer

Award (an acrostic conversation)

Image: impacttrophies.co.uk/content/images/thumbs/0042101_starlight-champion-tower-trophy-large.jpeg

As I give you this certificate of competition, do you have anything to say?”

What?  Are you saying I won?”

And why would you think that?  You’re score placed you dead last”

Right, but I still get a trophy?  You know, for giving it my best shot.”

Don’t be silly.  Trophies are for winners.  You get a piece of paper with your name misspelled on it.”

Skill (an acrostic conversation)

Image: i.pinimg.com/originals/0a/3c/88/0a3c8870ea34388d7f1fd26627f5d926.jpg

“So cool that you know how to play the guitar.”

“Kind of you to say, but I’m the drummer, remember?”

“I know. That’s why we supposedly brought you into the band.”

“Let me get this straight., were you being sarcastic?”

“Lots of love, dude, but call us back when you can count to four.”

Sell (an acrostic conversation)

Image: blog.hubstaff.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Businesses-growth-post.png

So I heard you are looking for a thing.”

Everyone is looking for a thing.  Can you be more specific?”

Listen, if I tell you more the price is going to quadruple.  So what do you say?”

Let me think about it.”