Shrink (an acrostic story)

Image: a.1stdibscdn.com/archivesE/upload/9779/05_15/040947f0/040947f_l.jpeg

She looked at her client perched on her couch. “Tell me again what’s wrong?”

He didn’t dignify her with a response.

Really? You don’t want to say anything?”

It didn’t seem to alter his disposition. He closed his eyes to slits and stared at her

Now these were the times she wished she had thought about this if this was the right career for her

Knowing this, would she have not gone into cat psychology? Probably not. Mr. Butters left the couch and jumped onto her lap as if to seal the deal. Purrrrfection!

Sample (an acrostic conversation)

Image: i.pinimg.com/originals/97/77/ec/9777ec655dbb0be8781c8dc3affdae8b.jpg

So I want to try it before I buy”

“As if! That’s not how this works, Honey.”

Maybe not usually, but I want to make sure I like it before my purchase.”

Please! Look. What is there not to like? I promise it will be mind-blowing.”

Let me just try it for a short little bit. You know they say the customer’s always right.”

Everyone’s a comedian. Instead of the job you asked for, why don’t you blow off!”

Paws (an acrostic poem)

Image: thesprucepets.com/thmb/o2xUbDB3Ek_7NJ7-o_thPuSCumk=/1024×576/smart/filters:no_upscale()/4985392932_ca67a39f42_b-5bd3394946e0fb0058b033cc.jpg

Puppies and kittens, batting their mittens

And all we can do is say awe

Watching them play, makes the sad go away

Shenanigans that help us guffaw

Clogged (an acrostic poem)

Image: foxsanantonio.com/resources/media/8e111b18-b5e9-4e8d-8c9f-124aca2edb3e-large1x1_DumpHouse.jpg

Clutter rampaged across his mental landscape

Leaving a mess of chaos that scrambled his thoughts

Old ideas mixed with current observations and new connections

Giving him no chance to respond to her questions

Grimacing all he could do was shrug his shoulders

Everything he wanted to say tried to come out at the same time, allowing nothing to escape his lips

Distraught, he knew that job opportunity was lost

Length (an acrostic conversation)

Image: cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2017/09/19/12/47/metal-ruler-2765212__340.jpg

“Look, it’s true what they say about… you know.”

“Except I don’t know. Please educate little ol’ me.”

“Not on your life! If you don’t know, well then all the better.”

“Good grief! Be a man and tell me.”

“That would be funny if it wasn’t so ironic.”

“How come? Telling me would be such a… small thing.”

Crass (an acrostic poem)

Image: fontsfree.net/assets/preview/20672-big-thumbs3-download-v1.png

Can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all?

Realize this is the biggest lie you have been fed all your life.

As if your opinion should be mitigated by some sort of empathy filter.

So you shouldn’t call out the stupidity slapping you in the face?

Shut up and sit down on that iron pole over there if you disagree.

Quarter (an acrostic conversation)

Image: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/70/2021-P_US_Quarter_Obverse.jpg

Questioning what I do will cost you more.”

Uh, why do you say that?”

As you waste my time asking me, the expert you hired, stupid questions, my price goes up.”

Reasonable, but that isn’t a good working relationship.”

This isn’t a coworker situation. We have an employer-employee situation.”

Except that always ends in a toxic work environment. We need to have a de-escalation training.”

Really? You think that? I quit! You can take your two bits and shove them!”

Note: two bits = 1 quarter

Sense (an acrostic poem)

Image: dinneratthezoo.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/baked-buffalo-wings-11.jpg

She smelled easy money in the air

Everyone was all beer, pizza, and Buffalo winged out.

Now she felt it was time for her to execute her plan while they were in the drunken gluttony afterglow

So fellas, listen up. What do you say we have a little side wager on the game?

Everyone agreed. Two hours later she was seen five hundred dollars richer