Bacon (an acrostic poem)

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Bring on all that smoked pork awesomeness

And let me eat till I want to oink

Can I get an amen, my piggy people?

Oh you might say I am a hog for engorging myself on the crispy pieces of heaven, and you would be correct

Now that being said, does this desire make me a cannibal?

Lever (an acrostic poem)

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Looking to get him to budge just a bit

Evelyn laid out her argument like a lawyer

Vivid and concrete examples of the whys

Everything out in the open, she waited for his decision

Really her dad had no way to say no because if he tried she would pull out her pouty lip and well…

Dummy (an acrostic poem)

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Don’t tell me what to say

Unless you think you have your hand up my ass

My maker gave me a mouth, and I damn well will use it myself

Maybe you can make others turn their heads and move their arms to your whims

Yet you will never make me your wood-headed puppet, you ….

Shrink (an acrostic story)

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She looked at her client perched on her couch. “Tell me again what’s wrong?”

He didn’t dignify her with a response.

Really? You don’t want to say anything?”

It didn’t seem to alter his disposition. He closed his eyes to slits and stared at her

Now these were the times she wished she had thought about this if this was the right career for her

Knowing this, would she have not gone into cat psychology? Probably not. Mr. Butters left the couch and jumped onto her lap as if to seal the deal. Purrrrfection!

Sample (an acrostic conversation)

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So I want to try it before I buy”

“As if! That’s not how this works, Honey.”

Maybe not usually, but I want to make sure I like it before my purchase.”

Please! Look. What is there not to like? I promise it will be mind-blowing.”

Let me just try it for a short little bit. You know they say the customer’s always right.”

Everyone’s a comedian. Instead of the job you asked for, why don’t you blow off!”

Paws (an acrostic poem)

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Puppies and kittens, batting their mittens

And all we can do is say awe

Watching them play, makes the sad go away

Shenanigans that help us guffaw

Clogged (an acrostic poem)

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Clutter rampaged across his mental landscape

Leaving a mess of chaos that scrambled his thoughts

Old ideas mixed with current observations and new connections

Giving him no chance to respond to her questions

Grimacing all he could do was shrug his shoulders

Everything he wanted to say tried to come out at the same time, allowing nothing to escape his lips

Distraught, he knew that job opportunity was lost

Length (an acrostic conversation)

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“Look, it’s true what they say about… you know.”

“Except I don’t know. Please educate little ol’ me.”

“Not on your life! If you don’t know, well then all the better.”

“Good grief! Be a man and tell me.”

“That would be funny if it wasn’t so ironic.”

“How come? Telling me would be such a… small thing.”

Crass (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all?

Realize this is the biggest lie you have been fed all your life.

As if your opinion should be mitigated by some sort of empathy filter.

So you shouldn’t call out the stupidity slapping you in the face?

Shut up and sit down on that iron pole over there if you disagree.