Silly (an acrostic poem)


So a neutron goes into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?”  The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”

If your boss tells you to have a nice day, does that mean you can go home?

Looking for a bitter and sweet drink?  Try some Reali-tea.

Listen, singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a soap opera.

You know what, I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.

Sand (an acrostic poem)


Silicon dioxide particles stuck to places on his body

All chaffing parts that should never be chaffed

Needing that shower to rinse them away and get relief

Deferring the problem to a clogged drain

Slippery (an acrostic poem)


Soapy bubbles covering his body he dropped his soap by his feet

Leaning down to retrieve it, he took a small step.

It left him unbalanced, he reached out to stop the fall, but down he went

Pulling the shower curtain down with him

Putting him on the floor, underneath the curtain, with the shower still on

Everyone rushed to the bathroom and saw him there sprawled on the floor

Reaching for the toilet, he levered himself into a sitting position

Yielding him a standing ovation from his roommates and a ten from the Russian judge

Wrecked (an acrostic poem)

Waves lapped along the shoreline

Reviving Jerod and giving him a shower he desperately needed

Everything must have gone so wrong

Collecting his thoughts he realized he couldn’t remember the night before

Kneeling, he looked around him, trying to jog something loose

Everything suddenly came back.  He couldn’t believe he was so stupid

Don’t drink a whole bottle of scotch you dumbass



Ashes to Ashes (a 100 word story)

The ashes drifted down from the sky, covering everything for miles.  Those ashes were people’s lives and memories, and he was there to stop more people’s memories from clogging the landscape.

Davis picked up his shovel and began to dig once again.  While the task was physically and mentally grueling, he kept thinking how good it would feel to wash off those memories when the job was done and the fire was contained.   But for now it was him and his shovel, and he wasn’t going to let those people down.

Memories are precious and shouldn’t go up in smoke.



Water Works

Looking through sleep glazed eyes, Miranda stumbled from her red satin bed.  She almost fell into the shower head first, but managed to catch herself on the shower curtain, tearing part of it from the curtain rod.  The hot water escaped angrily from the showerhead, slapping more reality into Miranda.  The night before began to materialize in the bathroom fog.  Memories of too much to drink, too much dancing, and way too much Dan played out in front of her like a reality show gone wrong.  How was she going to face Jeramiah after that?

Jeramiah poked his scruffy head past the shower curtain.  “How was last night at work?” he asked.

Miranda smiled a bit self-consciously.  “You know the usual.  Lots of nothing,” she said calling on her acting lessons back in drama club.  Her mother had always thought that drama club was a waste of time.  Now days it seemed like being a thespian was just a way of life.

Jeramiah blew her a kiss.  “Well then, we need to make things more interesting.  I’ve got the perfect thing,” he said.  He closed the curtain and Miranda could hear the sink begin to fill.

“What are you planning?” asked Miranda over the sound of water and guilt pouring down on her.

“How about we go for a cruise on the sailboat?  It will be a great way to just unwind” Jeramiah said.

Miranda smiled to herself.  “That sounds amazing,” she said.  She finished washing and shut off the water.  She pulled the curtain back gently, trying to preserve as much of it as she could.  She began to dry her hair.  “You always come up with the best ideas,” she said.

Jeramiah paused shaving.  “Wasn’t my idea.  Dan texted me that he thought you might need the break.  He figured we should get the crew together for a nice relaxing afternoon.  I thought that would be perfect.”

Miranda put her head down and wrapped her towel slowly around her wet hair, a horrified look in her eyes.  She almost passed out, whether from the blood rushing to her head, or draining away she didn’t know.  She stepped back into her role.  She pasted on her best smile and straightened herself up.  “Sounds like just what the doctor ordered,” she said.  Miranda gave Jeramiah a quick kiss on a clean spot on his left cheek as she left the bathroom.


Jeramiah watched Miranda as she disappeared into the bedroom.  All warmth left his eyes and he looked closely at the razor he was holding as if seeing it as a sharp object able to take a life for the first time.  “Yeah, just what the doctor ordered,” he said as his eyes glazed over from a sudden abundance of water.