So a neutron goes into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?” The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
If your boss tells you to have a nice day, does that mean you can go home?
Looking for a bitter and sweet drink? Try some Reali-tea.
Listen, singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it becomes a soap opera.
You know what, I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
Feasting on some tasty thigh meat
Ernie thought this celebration during Yuletide was the best
As there were so many yummy dishes to choose from
The more unusual the better, of course, to a gastronome like himself
It was for this particular moment that he wrote that silly repetitious song so long ago
Vivid imagery that was in the song focused on each of the dozen dishes that he now partook
And it always made him laugh when he crossed the Veil and heard one of the meat sacks sing it
Lifting another hunk of milkmaid on top of his piece drummer, he hummed “five golden rings…”
Yearning to wear soft cashmere sweaters
Asking others to make them for me seems silly since I could make one
Reaching for my knitting needles I start my first stitch
Now after five hours, and not getting past stitch three, I pick up the phone and call…
“As I give you this certificate of competition, do you have anything to say?”
“What? Are you saying I won?”
“And why would you think that? You’re score placed you dead last”
“Right, but I still get a trophy? You know, for giving it my best shot.”
“Don’t be silly. Trophies are for winners. You get a piece of paper with your name misspelled on it.”
Silly little things always gave him fits
Telling time on an analog clock
Untying double knotted shoes
Making really thin crepes
People, on the other hand, he could read like books
Everybody was a simple picture book to him
Debbie on the other hand…
That in between light and dark
When magic was at its strongest
Isabel cast my spell
Looking for a way to win his love
It may seem silly to most people
Giving this a try
Hell, she thought it was silly herself
That didn’t stop her from hoping they were all wrong
Be silly with me, she said
Like she really wanted me to do that
I have been infatuated with her for so long
No way she really meant what she said
Don’t understand why she didn’t ask again
Ten revamped movie quotes for today’s world:
- E.T. Snapchat home
- Luke, I am your mamma’s baby’s daddy.
- You textin’ to me?
- Show me the Bitcoin!
- Robinson, you’re trying to Netflix and chill. Aren’t you?”
- Houston, we have no budget.
- Too big to fail, for lack of a better word, is good.
- I feel the need—the need for faster data!
- I just passed my background check and got off the no fly list, so say ‘hello’ to my little friend!
- If you build the porn site, he will come.
See if you can place the movies they came from. The link to where I found the quotes is here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AFI%27s_100_Years…100_Movie_Quotes