Crawl (an acrostic poem)

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Can’t believe that gross internet myth

Really?  You’ll eat a dozen spiders as you sleep over your lifetime?

And to disprove this point I set up a video camera to record me sleeping

Watching the video, and we can see here that…wait, four, five, what the!!!!!!

Love of all that is holy!  I’m going to be…

Parrots (an acrostic conversation)

 

Perhaps he is just sleeping.

And that’s the excuse you want to go with?

Really, he could be just catching some shut-eye.

Realize that I have watched the Monty Python skit like a billion times.

Oh, then yeah, he’s dead

That was anticlimactic.

So do you want to start it from the top again?

 

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Karma Conversation (a 200 word dialog)

“She’s the girl of my dreams.”

“You must be daft!  This is the girl who threw away your baseball card collection.”

“Yeah, she did do that.”

“And she was the one who made you get rid of your dog because she didn’t want the fur on her white carpet.”

“True.  She did do that.”

“She had to buy her Corvette which is why you that P.O.S. out in the parking lot.”

“P.O.S.?”

“Piece of”

“Ah, got it.  Yeah.  She does love that car.”

“And she stabbed you in the back by sleeping with your boss.  How can she be the girl of your dreams?”

“Oh, I meant nightmares.”

“Now that I can understand.  So tell me, why are you still with her?”

“I may have found the worst possible relationship, but that makes everything else seem so much better.  I can look at dropping out of college, working this crappy job, and realizing I’m not going to accomplish any of my childhood dreams and feel some sort of contentment.  It’s like I’m telling karma to go fuck off because I got this, so just hold my beer.”

“So let me see if I understand.  The sex is that good?”

“Yes.”

 

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