Crisps (an acrostic poem)

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Crunchy chips deliver their payload of salt and carbs

Rallying my taste buds into a feeding frenzy

It becomes an addictive craving that must be met

Soon the bag is consumed, and I look around

People at the grocery store are looking at me weirdly

So what you’re saying is should have waited till I got home?

News (an acrostic poem)

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Noting all the brand new stories from today that were arrayed in front of him, he liked the buffet of content

Except there just wasn’t anything spicy enough to be worth the headline.

What he needed was sizzle, but all he had in front of him was steak.

So he carved everything up to bite sized pieces so at least they had to come back for more.

Document (an acrostic poem)

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Didn’t read the fine print of the contract

Of course that’s how a lot of these stories start

Catch 22’s galore in the legalese that no one can decipher

Unless you are a lawyer, and even then you have to be speak a dialect of Parseltongue

Making the rest of the tale about maneuvering out of the inevitable

Enabling our hero to have the last laugh

Now only if that worked in real life

Then I would be so done with these student loans

Rice (an acrostic poem)

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Reaching for the fork, she gently fluffed the grains

It helped release some of the steam trapped within, perfuming her face

Cooking might not be her jam, but this simple act made her so happy

Even if the rest of the meal was now charcoal

Crass (an acrostic poem)

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Cussing like a drunken sailor that stubbed his toe on the anchor chain of some 18th century Caribbean pirate boat

Rachel made all of the people around her blush almost redder than her flame colored locks

All anyone thought of the diminutive woman was how cute and childlike she was

So when she showed her ability to adult like some of the most depraved adults that ever adulted

So many people swore they never saw it coming.

Punish (an acrostic poem)

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Pushing her body to breaking never helped anyone

Unless you were talking about her guilt

Now she was here and wondered if this time she had gone too far

It seemed to make sense in the heat of the moment

So now hanging on this rockface fifty feet up and her strength giving out, she wondered

How did eating a single extra Oreo do this to her?

Interested? (a 100 word story opening)

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Someone once said that even the villain is the hero of their own story.  Yeah, that’s a bunch of… 

Sorry.  I’m not usually that crass.  I prefer to be in control.  Total control.  That’s why I am leaving this recording.  I don’t want myopic historians researching me to think I was lucky or a bumbling opportunist.  This will be the witness to my greatness, especially since no one else is capable of fully comprehending what I am about to do without me helping by giving you this simplified commentary.  Sit back and marvel at the mind of an unmitigated genius.