Have you heard the latest conspiracy theory that was on TV last night?
Everyone is just sheep eating the grass fed to them by their favorite station’s talk shows.
Really, dude, you should know that all of it has at least a bit of truth.
Don’t think it can be on cable if not, right?
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread was his favorite proverb
It encapsulated his life in ways that spanned from ludicrous to profound
Ever since he was a boy, he would do the near impossible, twist fate into pretzels, and never miss a beat
Reveling in the audacity of the chaos he spread around like seeds from a dandelion caught in a tornado
Could do no wrong, and it was just the way of the universe
Evidently when you held your guardian angel hostage, you could ever be the fool, but were you?
Chucking the little black nuggets onto the embers of the fire and soon they burst into flame
Outputting more heat to warm up the chilly cabin
And to think people called him a dinosaur when he burnt his favorite fuel
Look, he was just freeing his spiritual ancestors’ souls in exchange for warmth
Bashful with a dash of humility was his favorite drink
Leaving him sated every time he partook of that sweet nectar
Under the moonless sky, he would go out for a pint or two
Fortune smiled when he found a sweet young insecure thing looking for tall, pale, and handsome
Finding a dark spot to sip her vitality, he never saw the wooden stake till it was too late
Think, therefore I am was his favorite idiom
He held onto it with both hands, never letting it go
Others gave up and allowed themselves to become fleshy robots
Under the guise that the need for money was above all
Given that option himself, he rejected to play along
He kept generating new and different mental creations to escape their drudgery
That was why he was gone when they finally came to imprison him for his ideas
Flames leapt from the cylinder illuminating the darkness
Leaving Charlene blinded as she stood still among the dancing white flakes
All she could think about in that moment was the story of the little match girl
Realizing that she was going to reprise the main lead role unless there was a Christmas miracle
Every year after, Charlene would leave out a hot toddy and peanut butter cookies because… well they were his favorite
As her alarm heralded a new call to battle
Randi braced herself for another day in the trenches
Making her coffee extra strong, it sent her heart racing
On went her power suit and matching shoe briefcase combo
Reaching for her favorite pen, she was ready for war
Ginny hated volunteering with a passion
Even if it was for an awesome cause like the animal shelter
That’s why she was in such a black mood, but she was there
Patrick came in, happy to see Ginny showed up
As he handed her her favorite coffee he turned up the wattage of his smile
It made Ginny rethink this whole volunteering thing
Dollars weren’t the only currency around
Image: secure.i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01582/dollars_1582317c.jpg
Stories and photos from Scotland
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